"Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but self expect applause" Sir Richard Francis Burton

    I’ve noticed that there are deleterious tendencies that emerge or become more prominent as one matures.  I’m not talking about myself here, of course, but in others.  As they sit around, in their newly found spare time, they reminisce.  This is always dangerous.  In this post I want to address the apparent need of some to validate their life.  I’m not talking about myself here either, of course, but others.  They do this by remembering events that they deem to have revealed their intelligence, insight, bravery, competency, awareness, cleverness, skills, astuteness, and adroitness among many other positive attributes.  As you socialize with them by sharing a meal of organic pabulum, they tell stories – sometimes more than once.  In these stories they are always the hero.  “And then I….”   

At the end of the story (which never comes soon enough) they pause and look expectedly at you.  I find it really hard to give the socially accepted verbal applause.  “Wow, you really handled that well.  It’s amazing that you were able to find that solution. A show of true genius and ought to be in the history books.”   I fear that such a response will encourage more such stories.

People want applause for what they have done.  They want to believe that they have accomplished something with their lives and it wasn’t just wasted.  In fact, we all know that most of such applause is perfunctory and the only applause that has merit is that which silently comes from within that you give yourself.  You know all of the facts and can be the only unbiased judge.

So rather than giving the expected retort, I’ve developed a far more effective tactic.  I recall an event that reveals my intelligence, insight, bravery, competency, awareness, cleverness, skills, astuteness, and adroitness among many other positive attributes.  Unbelievably they often seem bored by such stories.  Perhaps I’ve told them before.

© 2014 Lester C. Welch