Monday, June 16, 2014
"Each choice we make causes a ripple effect in our lives. When things happen to us, it is the reaction we choose that can create the difference between the sorrows of our past and the joy in our future." Chelle Thompson
One aspect of being a senior citizen is that one’s vista of your previous life can be relatively long. One can identify events that happened early and had an impact on the rest of your life – a ripple.
When I look back I see several stones that were thrown in the pool of my young life and ripple till now. Some were good – some bad – some consequential – some not so.
One particular stone is the subject of today’s post. I was doing very well in grade school. At the halfway point of my second grade year they moved me into the third grade. I skipped a year. Throughout the rest of my schooling until college I was always the youngest in the class. This meant all of the girls were older than I. All the guys had a driver’s license before me. They started shaving before me. There were other obvious differences revealed in the gym’s locker room. I was a small guy (at that time) anyway but being one year younger accentuated that difference.
Some of those years were years when you develop your social awareness and your personality. Being the “kid” affects your self-perception and the role you play among your peers. I can’t believe that the impact of being the youngest would be as severe for a girl, but perhaps. I do read advice columns wherein some bemoan, “All of the other girls have breasts and I don’t. I’m going to kill myself.” For a guy, their whole masculinity is being defined.
One eventually does mature and your circle of peers gets large enough to include people even younger than yourself. You become more “normal” – at least on the outside. I think the magnitude of the impact on your whole life from such a ripple may be unknowable.
On the other hand, suppose I hadn’t been prematurely promoted a grade. I may have became bored with school, started acting out, became a disciplinary problem and grown a hatred for school. My life would’ve been much worse.
So maybe it’s folly to characterize ripples as being good or bad. We don’t see the alternatives. It's life.
2014 Lester C. Welch
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I was pushed up to 1st grade after only a few weeks in kindergarten. I was ALWAYS the smallest kid in my class - last to be picked for sports got bullied, pushed around and beat up a lot. Definitely NOT on the social "A List". Girls and social life - forget it! I never had a real girlfriend in HS nor went to a prom. Too much of a wimp I guess.
ReplyDeleteAs a senior in HS I started with weights - after a while I was able to give as good or better than I got and the punks left me alone. They might end up kicking my ass, but they were going to have to work and feel some real pain to do it. The first time I split some AH's lip was a great day for me. The dope never saw it coming and was surprised as I was!
With 60+ years of hindsight, I think it was totally stupid to move me up when they did.
We didn't have weights in my HS. Did you have a male role model that advised you to fight back? I've heard others say that. I didn't. I always figured that if I hurt the AH, he'd hurt me a lot more. I did date and went to the prom. I've been told I was "cute" in a "beatles" sort of way. I wanted to be Matt Dillon or John Wayne, though. Thanks for the comment.
ReplyDeleteI was quite shy in school, pretty much stayed to myself. I was nearly always the last one chosen in gym class to be on a team. It was humiliating at the time. I never was very good at team sports, but perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ReplyDeleteOnce I was in college, I discovered how much I enjoyed solitary physical activity, and actually was quite good. To this day I enjoy physical activity almost every day in some way or another. I will work out with friends or my husband, but still enjoy the occasional solitary hike or bike ride.
Carole,...Have any guesses on why you were shy? Near-age siblings? Play with neighborhood kids before you were school age? Kindergarten? It boils down to the age-old question - nature or nuture?
DeleteI suspect nature. My dad also was very much an introvert, as were all of my siblings. As I got older, I found my comfort level with this type of personality. At work I was always able to rise to the occasion and be sociable with the best of them. But it was always a huge effort and not always enjoyable. I am no longer shy, but still an introvert. I recharge my batteries with peaceful solitude.
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