"So the creation of empathy necessarily influences how you'll behave to other people." Barbara Kingsolver

When I write these posts I search for an 

appropriate quote to title what follows.  Often it 

is difficult to find the “one.” This post deals 

with empathy and – contrary to the norm – I 

found many suitable candidates.

I think “empathy” to be the most significant 

factor in our personality as manifested in our 

relationship with others.  It governs how we

behave and interact with others in many subtle 

ways.  Let me give you some examples.

I think public speakers – or mere social 

conversationists - must have empathy to be 

effective.  They must be able to put themselves 

in the position of the listener to be able to

 convey the speaker’s message.  A trap many 

speakers fall into is – without realizing it – 

assuming the listeners have the same context as

themselves.  Let me give a trivial and obvious 

example:  the speaker says, “Tom and Bill were

discussing the trip and he said…”  The speaker,

of course, knows to whom “he” refers to, but the 

listener doesn’t and is confused.  ALL indefinite 

pronouns have the potential of causing such 

confusion.  Avoid them if possible.  Their use

shows a lack of empathy. The biggest challenge 

in talking is to create in the listener’s mind the 

same context as the speaker has, so that what

follows makes sense.

Empathy can be a disadvantage.  I know people 

who deal with the poor and needy in non-profit 

organizations that dispense food and 

clothing. There is an interview process to

determine eligibility.  Needless to say, there are 

those who try to scam the system and if the 

interviewer is too empathic, every scam works.

Yet, it is often that very sensitive empathy which

puts the interviewer into that position.

It is believed by psychologists that a major 

benefit of reading fiction is the creation of 

empathy.  The reader feels what the characters 
in the book feel (if the author is doing their job).

The correlation between “lack-of-reading” and

“lack-of-empathy” among the prison population is high.

The proper balance between “selfishness” and 

“empathy” is critical.  When do you consider 

yourself and not the other?  Must one always

defer to a loved one?

“Empathy” is what enables the reading of “body-

language.”  How much do we trust our ability to 

do so?  What if we’re wrong?  Maybe the client

really does need the food and clothing and we’re 

just being overly cautious.

I suspect “empathy” is an essense of life.

© 2014 Lester C. Welch